Malice Is In The Eyes Of The Beholder

Okay, here it goes. My dad would probably not approve when he sees this article while my mom (oh well), she’ll probably try not to look surprised but I’ll post it anyway not because I want some attention but because I want people to look at it at a different light.

Just a few months ago, I had a heated argument with a friend about the bikini photo in my Facebook account. She told me that I was a renewed soul and that I should remove it from my profile because it was ‘not nice’ to look at. What ticked me off even further was when she made that comment in my account for everyone to see and not in a private message. The truth was, I have totally forgotten about that photo since it was taken and posted in the previous year. I didn’t even bother responding to the recent comments of people because I honestly did not see the need to pay attention to what was being written. So to make the story short, I confronted my friend about it and just to get it over with, I deleted the photo.

That Bikini Photo

The big question up until now is, what was wrong with the picture? I was wearing a bikini in the beach and a friend decided to take a photo of me candidly. It wasn’t like I was wearing a bikini in a mall or a skimpy outfit in church. It was an appropriate outfit for swimming or bathing under the scorching sun. (At least that’s what I thought.)

The sad fact is, some people are just malicious. They don’t want to admit it but the spite is there, lurking at the back of their minds. They would try to justify it by saying that their intentions are clean but not entirely. It’s similar to seeing a pregnant 17-year old and assuming that she can’t keep her legs closed when the truth was she was molested by an uncle; or concluding that a tribal child was dumb just because he was having a hard time understanding the calendar after being brought up to judge time through moon cycles and changes in the trees.

malice definition

Some people assume and make conclusions without knowing the whole story or looking at the bigger picture. Don’t these people realize that something is dirty because they were thinking that it was dirty? that something is wrong because they were thinking it was wrong? In my case though, there was no story at all. I was just simply lazing about and enjoying that out-of-town bonding with my girlfriends.

How do we set the boundaries then if relativity is something that we need to respect? When do we say that one is universally dirty or wrong? The answer is “I DON’T KNOW.” I can’t tell you that there’s one definite answer since people have different orientations and have different views on several matters. It would be unfair to say that my friend was wrong and it was also unfair when she publicly announced that I was wrong.

We can do something though. We can learn to respect each other and butt out of people’s lives so to maintain the peace. If at one point you’ll be itching to blurt out an opinion about what that girl was wearing or how a rebel projects himself to the society, tighten your leash and bite your tongue. I’m quite certain there’s a reason behind everything and if you were right, the subject of your opinion will soon realize this or suffer the consequences of his or her action without your insistence. If there was no reason in the first place (like my bikini photo), then why make such a big deal out of it? All that fuss for nothing.

Anyway, let me leave you with this photo below. You go ahead and knock yourself out.

Self Portrait

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  1. hi! I just like to comment about this “Malice is in the eyes of the beholder”
    You’re very creative in writing, two thumbs up!
    I can see your point about this whole thing and I just want to share also my opinion about this.
    There was one time when we went to a friend’s house to swim but we did not bring any swimming attire. The guard won’t allow us to swim with shorts and shirts so we decided to just wear two-piece.
    Then my friend uploaded all the pictures on the web and everyone saw it. I forgot to say, I am a part of a worship ministry in a christian church. So all my churchmates especially my aunt scolded us. I tried to reason out but i still ended up wrong. So my aunt explained to me why shouldn’t we had done that. Because first of all, we were part of the worship ministry and we cannot just show off our bodies like that. Also, we were causing the eyes of others to lust, so it means we were CAUSING THEM TO SIN.

    • denramonal says

      Hey Naphtali. Thanks for droppin’ by and for taking the time to read the entry. I truly appreciate it. Yes, you are right. When you belong to a group that is supposed to represent something, one has to be a good example. However, I remain a firm believer that no one can causes another person to sin. You sinned because you allowed yourself to sin and you can’t put the blame on another. Probably, the closest term we can use is temptation (but only if the intention was there). I think the sad realization is – because the world is filled with so much negativity that even small and simple circumstances like what you and I have mentioned became opportunities for malice to take its reign (when there are bigger things to worry about). But like what I always say, to each his own — as long as you are not deliberately hurting anyone then that shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t mean that there are no limitations anymore, of course there are and we are all quite aware of them. I just don’t see the need to punish someone for LITTLE things like these. 😉