Gentle Reminder

For all women who have somehow forgotten what it truly felt like to be a woman after all the crash and burn complications brought by heartaches, climate change, and financial struggles, remember these:

It’s not funny when it hurts.


No, it never is. You have exhausted the usage of LOL in all your electronic bullshit, that you have forgotten what LOL stood for in the first place. This “Laughing Out Loud” façade is as insignificant as all that make-up you are wearing. For once, be honest to yourself. If it hurts but you want to save face, then maybe you can use alternative responses like ‘Fudgcke You’ or ‘Eat Crap.’ If you are not angry then say, ‘Ouch’ or ‘That hurts.’ Honesty is always under-rated but it can take you farther than the lies you burdened yourself with. If you are not ready to accommodate honesty then silence might just be your best tactic. You are not obligated to explain your feelings to people and it is most certainly not your responsibility to worry about how the person, the same one you have unfortunately fallen in deep shit with, would react. We are all entitled to feel what we are feeling and this is okay.

Her story is not your story.


Yes that woman’s love narrative is like a fairy tale – ring, prince charming on a white horse, stability, highland proposals – the whole enchilada, but that is hers. Yours will be different and will be as interesting, I promise. It’s not happening now because every moment has to happen in God’s perfect time. Be still. Wait. It will happen when it happens. Stop imitating other experiences or forcing them to happen because you will never truly be happy. Let your story unravel like some loose blank canvass rolled out brassily, spitting dusts and reeking that musk of uncertainty. It will be perfect in accordance to how God made you and trust me when I say, it will make you happy.

Say it when you mean it.


All these ‘I Love Yous’ flying around has turned the world into a circus. If you love a person and you are sure all the way to your toes then say it. Say it because you mean it, and not because you want to win that person over, or you want to secure a steadier spot in that person’s life. If your intentions are not genuine then you do not have a business of wanting to be with that person. Let this big phrase take the credit it deserves, for it is not like a receipt you claim from a store after coughing up green bucks or some basic social service that you seemed to think you are entitled to. And when you have said it, let it settle. It is not a grenade that you throw at an opponent, expecting immediate explosion. Think of it like a seed that needs to burrow and dig deep before it sprouts into something. Lastly, be mindful that it may not sprout into what you hoped for.

Sex is not a freebie.


Your body is a temple. You don’t just give it away because of certain urges. When you share your body with another, you are sharing not just a portion of yourself – you are letting that person claim a part of your life. Spare me the bullshit speech that “we are not in the dark ages anymore and that is not how women think these days.” I know what you do when you are alone and I know how you wallow in self-pity in secret. When you make love, you are somehow making a commitment and not a lot of people these days want to understand or admit this. Sex is not just sex, no matter what people say. Your body deserves to be respected, not used for carnal purposes that leave you feeling dirty afterwards.

Love yourself.


This is probably the most important thing you need to remember. Love yourself. How? Do things that make you happy. Ask yourself what makes you happy and then you can work from there. Make a list of your favorite things and try not deprive yourself. Do not overdo it though or else it will take away the joy. Travel. Eat that red-velvet cupcake. Splurge on books. Smile more. Watch chick flicks. Play with your dog. Spend time with good friends. Take your mom or dad on a date. Minimize facebook usage. Jump like how you used to when you were a kid. Sleep until midday when you do not need to report to work that day. Drink coffee. Dance like crazy. Anything. You know what they are so what are you waiting for?

Just a gentle reminder. We all need this now and then.

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