To Our Little Cream Puff Redienne Selah


(Updated: March 9, 2019)

My Our Dearest, Dearest Red (or Brie),

I said four years but six years have passed and I am still working on this proposal. LOL. Four years is obviously not seem an awful long time because it is true what John L. sang about, “Life happens when you’re busy making other plans.” Do not take this the wrong way though because I am even more excited to meet the next most important person in my life. So yes, but I’m quite still sure that the wait will be was worth it. I am writing updating this because although I was originally inspired by this woman who wrote to her future child and thought that it would be a great idea to tell you about life as I know it now and how you will fit in the picture, there is also another person who is planning ‘you’ with me now. He is as excited as I am.

Before I continue, I want you to know that you are loved — so much, that your crazy mother planned years ahead to have you. Yes, you will not have the typical mother but I assure you that our world will be more colorful than Alice’s. You don’t know who Alice is yet but I will introduce you to her, to the mad hatter, and the most beloved cheshire cat who you, too, will love for his wisdom. I will also tell you the secret of defeating the Red Queen. We will make beds out of books and dream about Neverland or Atlantis together. I will let you hand-paint your walls with the colors you will claim as your own and will never, never make the mistake of choosing them for you.

Red, you have to understand that choices are important. Your crazy grandmother (yes, she too is crazy —- I guess it runs in the family) taught me the hard lesson about choices at a very young age. I would want to do the same with you, but will take out the ‘hard’ part. Don’t worry, you will not be alone; however, you will have to make your own choices. Promise me, that when you decide, it is what you want and not someone else’s. Never make the mistake of borrowing someone else’s dream. This will not make you happy in the end.

You were one of my choices. I made the choice that I will have you in four year’s time whether I was with someone or not. Obviously this did not happen and I am glad that God intervened.  Mind you but I almost gave your grandfather a heart attack when I asked his permission the second time I told him about my plans. The first time didn’t count because he was not sober enough. He gave me his blessings and made me promise that I will give you the kind of life that will not leave you wanting. I realized now that this crazy idea of mine that I will be doing all this alone was ridiculous. I was never alone because I was surrounded by good people.

I have to admit that I we are still a little scared and this is why I we are am preparing for your arrival. I We may not be able to give you everything that your heart will desire but I we will make certain that all your needs will be well provided for. You will have an unorthodox family.

Your grandmother, Lola Cynthia, crazy as she may be, will shower you with attention now that she only has her orchids and dogs to tend to. She will banter you with soft croons of the painful past (so you will be aware) but will protect you from anything or anyone who will harm you. Sadly, you will not physically meet your Lolo Danny. He passed away four years ago and I miss him every day. Your grandfather will  was supposed to blind you with the smoke of his cigarettes and but his silence was supposed to will be your comfort. However, even though he is no longer with us physically, he will always be the stability you will we can rely on when we you lose your footing at some point. That is how strong his influence is on our lives. I wish you met him but do not worry, I have many stories to share with you about him. Your Tito Fort will never turn his back on you. He is extremely loyal once he becomes your ally. He has taken the role that your Lolo Danny left behind and he is now the rock of our family. You will be so proud of him, just like how the rest of the family is.  Your Tita Danna and Tito Jones are somewhat like aftermaths of a hurricane but they will not hesitate to offer help in any way they can. They may not be the model couple but you’ll be amazed how big their hearts are (just disregard the wet market nagging). Your cousin, Kuya Josh, he is the sweetest. He will take care of you like a little sister and will punch the jerk who will dare break your heart. You also have your mama’s close family relatives who are as excited and happy to meet you. Not to mention,  You also have your mama’s cool, trustworthy friends from different parts of the world and from various walks of life who will be more than happy to have you around. We are not everybody’s cup of tea but we will surround you with love and support so you will not fall into the trap of putting emphasis on material possessions. Lastly, you will have a Papa. He will be in our lives. What can I say? He is exactly what your Lolo Danny would have wanted to meet. He is the calm voice, the kind heart, and the loving hand – those are his superpowers and I love him dearly. You will too because I am quite certain he will spoil you rotten despite our agreement. (I think I need to make him sign a contract.) Your father has the green thumb like your Lola Cynthia so he will happily teach you how to make things grow. You will learn so much from this lesson. He will probably also bond with you over computer games, football, peppers, and the former Yugoslavia. When both of you are in this little world you both created – I will gladly step back and watch so you will also collect treasures from him. 

You will be rich in other ways. You will know of the many faces of the world because I we will narrate the stories I we have stashed in secret nooks. I We will tell you how it is like to kiss the sun, of swimming with gentle whale sharks, of climbing hills and conquering mountains, of letting another language roll out of your tongue, of knowing what being foreign means, of experiencing another culture, of enjoying different kinds of food,  of finding peace in God. Sadly, although it will break my heart, we will also let you learn of children and angry young people in resettlement colonies fighting for their rights to education, of women struggling to find their significance in this world, of hunger and hatred consuming communities, of people pretending to care and doing lip-service, of animals butchered for worldly wants, of our earth dying, of fanatics declaring war in the name of religion. All these I we will share with you, slowly…gently so you will understand.

I We will narrate these stories to you and hope, that later, you will have stories of your own. I We will teach you how to dance like a madwoman and cry out to the moon whilst tapping the very ground you might defy one day. I think this part is more me than your Papa. Let us just say that your Papa does not dance. I pray that you will discover your own dance and stay true to it. I will teach you to weave your own magic carpet so that you can travel and see the world with your own eyes.

My little cream puff, our future together will not always be easy. I We perceive that there might be some rough roads once in a while, but I we promise that we will be okay. Just make sure to put your seat belt on and let mama and papa do the driving and when you’re old enough to drive, I we will gladly hand over the keys to you. By then, you can go wherever you want. Just promise us not to drive too fast and that, if you lose your way, you’ll consult your map and Bible instead of finding an easy way out. We will always be with you, our dearest cream puff.

I We can’t wait to see you, Red.


Your Mama and Papa

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