To My Little Cream Puff Redienne Selah


My Dearest, Dearest Red,

Four years seem an awful long time to meet the next most important person in my life but I’m quite sure that the wait will be worth it. I am writing because I was inspired by this woman who wrote to her future child and thought that it would be a great idea to tell you about life as I know it now and how you will fit in the picture.

Before I continue, I want you to know that you are loved — so much, that your crazy mother planned years ahead to have you. Yes, you will not have the typical mother but I assure you that our world will be more colorful than Alice’s. You don’t know who Alice is yet but I will introduce you to her, to the mad hatter, and the most beloved cheshire cat who you, too, will love for his wisdom. I will also tell you the secret of defeating the Red Queen. We will make beds out of books and dream about Neverland or Atlantis together. I will let you hand-paint your walls with the colors you will claim as your own and will never, never make the mistake of choosing them for you.

Red, you have to understand that choices are important. Your crazy grandmother (yes, she too is crazy —- I guess it runs in the family) taught me the hard lesson about choices at a very young age. I would want to do the same with you, but will take out the ‘hard’ part. Don’t worry, you will not be alone; however, you will have to make your own choices. Promise me, that when you decide, it is what you want and not someone else’s. Never make the mistake of borrowing someone else’s dream. This will not make you happy in the end.

You were one of my choices. I made the choice that I will have you in four year’s time whether I was with someone or not. Mind you but I almost gave your grandfather a heart attack when I asked his permission the second time I told him about my plans. The first time didn’t count because he was not sober enough. He gave me his blessings and made me promise that I will give you the kind of life that will not leave you wanting.

I have to admit that I am little scared and this is why I am preparing for your arrival. I may not be able to give you everything that your heart will desire but I will make certain that all your needs will be well provided for. You will have an unorthodox family. Your grandmother, crazy as she may be, will shower you with attention now that she only has her orchids and dogs to tend to. She will banter you with soft croons of the painful past (so you will be aware) but will protect you from anything or anyone who will harm you. Your grandfather will blind you with the smoke of his cigarettes but his silence will be your comfort. He will be the stability you will rely on when you lose your footing at some point. Your Tito Fort will never turn his back on you. He is extremely loyal once he becomes your ally. Your Tita Danna and Tito Jones are somewhat like aftermaths of a hurricane but they will not hesitate to offer help in any way they can. They may not be the model couple but you’ll be amazed how big their hearts are (just disregard the wet market nagging). Your cousin, Kuya Josh, he is the sweetest. He will take care of you like a little sister and will punch the jerk who will dare break your heart. You also have your mama’s cool, trustworthy friends who will be more than happy to have you around. We are not everybody’s cup of tea but we will surround you with love and support so you will not fall into the trap of putting emphasis on material possessions.

You will be rich in other ways. You will know of the many faces of the world because I will narrate the stories I have stashed in secret nooks. I will tell you how it is like to kiss the sun, of swimming with gentle whale sharks, of climbing hills and conquering mountains, of letting another language roll out of your tongue, of knowing what being foreign means, of experiencing another culture, of finding peace in God. Sadly, although it will break my heart, I will also let you learn of children and angry young people in resettlement colonies fighting for their rights to education, of women struggling to find their significance in this world, of hunger and hatred consuming communities, of people pretending to care and doing lip-service, of animals butchered for worldly wants, of our earth dying, of fanatics declaring war in the name of religion. All these I will share with you, slowly…gently so you will understand.

I will narrate these stories to you and hope, that later, you will have stories of your own. I will teach you how to dance like a madwoman and cry out to the moon whilst tapping the very ground you might defy one day. I pray that you will discover your own dance and stay true to it. I will teach you to weave your own magic carpet so that you can travel and see the world with your own eyes.

My little cream puff, our future together will not always be easy. I perceive that there might be some rough roads once in a while, but I promise that we will be okay. Just make sure to put your seat belt on and let mama do the driving and when you’re old enough to drive, I’ll gladly hand over the keys to you. By then, you can go wherever you want. Just promise me not to drive too fast and that, if you lose your way, you’ll consult your map and Bible instead of finding an easy way out.

I can’t wait to see you, Red.


Your Mama

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