Yeah, So What?!

I said to myself today, since I was obviously in a jollier mood, that acceptance is the key.

While looking at myself, I said – “This is me.” I’m going (to have) to accept the fact that I am 32, that I no longer have the blemish-free face of my 22-year old self, that my hair will always look like a halfway house between curly and wavy, that I will always weigh heavier than normal, that I will always have the flared nostrils of my father, and that I will never be like the other girls who eat in moderation. This is me and the sooner I accept these facts, the easier things will be.

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As Is!

When you’re stuck on days comparing who you were to who you are now; or much worst, comparing yourself to another person, you know that there is obviously something wrong. The dissatisfaction with how your life is going will eat you up and rip you from the inside until one day, you can no longer recognize your own face. Friends ask me, what do I have to be dissatisfied about? Oh many things but I don’t want to talk about them. The point is, I (too) am guilty of this and I want to change it. I don’t want to constantly punish myself just because I weigh 63 kilos. Yes, I do. I don’t look like it but I really do. I don’t want to entertain thoughts of going under the knife just because people made fun of my big nose. I don’t want to waste any more money on derma clinics and skin products that never make the pimples go away permanently anyway. I don’t want to massacre my hair by getting it rebonded or permed just because of an urge to create a ‘new me.’

Sadly in the last few weeks, I caught myself pleasing other people. It’s fine to please but when you please so that they will be happy (and you will be miserable), that’s a different story. You shouldn’t have to change who you are nor carry the burden of keeping the truth a secret. You like practical things but the other people are obviously obsessed with labels – so what?! You like to stay at home and read a book but other people love to party – so what?! You prefer flip flops over stilettos – so what?! You adore Janis Joplin, the Beatles, and the Queen amongst others but other people prefer pop, rap or rave – so what?! You have unruly hair and you have constant breakouts on your face – so what?! So you are restless and your crazy ideas get the best of you sometimes – so what?!

We may have been created in the likeness of God but He made each one of us unique. We were not supposed to be cramped on one bandwagon. As long as you’re not hurting another person, it shouldn’t matter.

There’s a reason why you are who you are now and who you were then. There’s a reason why you are who you should be as opposed to who they want you to be. If they don’t like what you have to give, then smile and move on. Don’t waste your time  convincing people who were dead set on making you into something or someone who you are not. You deserve better. Don’t hate them though; just keep in mind that there’s that eternal stick up  their ass that’s causing the discomfort that they are feeling which they also want to share with other people. You know what else you can do? You can shove that stick even farther by being yourself. Try it, it’s quite liberating.

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  1. Great article, blockmate! Very liberating 🙂